交際

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他說從年輕到現在，朋友來來去去，有些甚至從好朋友變成老死不相往來的敵人。「但總有幾個是不必應酬也打死不退的傢伙。」他說，「沒騙你，有一天晚上我很認真地算了一遍，覺得……有這幾個其實好像也挺夠用了！」

想起前幾天看《Reading with the Stars》時，演員Jamie Lee Curtis也提到

An article in AARP magazine had recently profiled Curtis, calling her “an exuberant crusader for aging wisely” and quoting her as having said, “Getting older means paring yourself down to an essential version of yourself.” I asked her how I could pare myself down to an essential version of myself. She went off on a wildly entertaining diatribe about essence.

“It’s like essential oil,” she said. “Have you ever experimented with any sort of essential oil? Something that has been condensed. It’s like reducing something on a stove, and the stronger you reduce it, the more flavor comes out, the more true essence of it comes out. When you really get into that essence, that delicious, deep, aromatic essence of yourself, you’re in the zone. You’re in that essential you. And it really, for me, is a multistep experience. It has to do with divesting stuff. I’m a big divester of stuff. I don’t own more than I need.
（中略） 

“It has to do with divesting physical stuff, but it also has to do then with divesting people. You look around your day; how many times have you had some contact with some friend that you made 20 years ago that now you can’t even remember why you became friends, and you go, ‘Why do I know this person? Every time I see them, they’re either in trauma or . . . ‘If this isn’t a good relationship, get out. You can say to people, ‘You know what? I wish you well in the world. I really do. You’re a good person. But I’m going to move on from this relationship. It’s not helping me. It’s just not. And I’m sorry to say that and I’m sure that’s hurtful for you.’ Or just don’t call them back!” Curtis laughed.

“A person I admire a lot said to me just recently, ‘Aging is God’s way of telling you, you don’t have time to waste.’

習慣獨來獨往，討厭小圈圈的孤僻人，對這些說法特別有共鳴。人際關係也是需要斷捨離的，不是因為誰對誰錯，而是因為久而久之，有人成長了，有人還停在原地，就不適合在一起了。

前陣子友人提到，她覺得陳綺貞的新歌反覆聽了幾次，還是覺得不好聽，而她以前是那麼喜歡她的歌。我說：「因為仙女還是仙女，但我們成長了。所以很多人還是很喜歡仙女，但我們聽不慣了。」

有一次在高鐵上看某位台灣女作家的書也是有這種感覺，我曾經是那麼喜歡她的作品，卻覺得那本書讀來索然無味，也許我老了，無法再和仙女產生共鳴。

“People change. Feelings change. It doesn’t mean that the love once shared wasn’t true or real. It simply means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart.”― 500 Days of Summer